Yesterday, I shared with you that God has taught me some very difficult lessons through this season of struggle that we are going through right now. I told you that I would be sharing these last five days what some of those hard lessons were that I have had to process with our painful circumstances.
One of the lessons that God begin to show me when I finally was able to be still and listen to him more… was that I was not handling my emotions in a healthy way.
I have struggled with my weight my entire life. I am not a big fan of exercise and I love all things chocolate and sugar… not the greatest of combinations.
However, a few years ago I decided to do something about it so I worked very hard and lost 40 pounds. I felt great about myself and accomplishing this goal. I did it by changing our habits as a family so that we were more active and our eating habits as a family to more natural and healthy options. In other words, this was not a crash diet for me… this was a lifestyle change that should have lasted.
The problem is when our big struggle started it was all too easy for me to fall back into old habits again.
When I was sad… I would seek comfort in a bag of cookies.
Late at night when I could not sleep I would snack in the kitchen (even if I was not that hungry).
I made unhealthy food choices as I turned to comfort food to ease my anxiety and worries.
Bottom line is… over the duration of our struggle I have managed to allow myself to climb back up to a weight that is unhealthy for me and makes me feel sluggish.
About a week ago I was doing my quite time and I was praying for the energy to endure and I felt like God was prompting me with this thought… “How can I give you energy to carry you through if you are filling your body with so many unhealthy things and turning to them for comfort instead of me.”
I had NEVER in my life looked at my weight struggle as a struggle to go to God instead of the pantry but suddenly I had the perspective to see that was exactly what I was often doing.
I was often eating… not out of hunger or need… but out of a longing to fill an emptiness that I felt in my body.
My unhealthy way of handling stress is food. For others it might be; alcohol, drugs, sex, cutting, or something else… the bottom line is all too often we try to fill the God sized void in our life with something that is unhealthy and unholy.
I have spent the last few days getting “back in the game” of my health. I cleared out all the sugary foods from my pantry and I started walking and working out again. I am cooking dinner again instead of grabbing fast food.
I feel good about this shift in my lifestyle because I feel like I am freeing myself up to feast at the table with God on his truth and promises where before I was only snacking on his scriptures. I am viewing this time of our journey not as a struggle or a hardship to work hard and get my weight back down but an opportunity to get healthy again… physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
I have set a goal to lose 50 pounds in order to be at the suggested healthy weight for my age, height, and gender. I will be sharing with my readers here and on Facebook how that journey is going over the next five or six months.
This song… is one of my favorite songs to workout to right now. It always gets me motivated and moving- I love the beat but I also LOVE the lyrics. I feel like with my new energy, focus, and perspectives I too am going to be able to Shake Heaven!
I invite you to travel with me on this 40 day journey as I seek to find and share perspective in our pain. Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, or by subscribing to the blog. Feel free to also catch up on the previous posts in this series by clicking here.
Today, I would love to hear your thoughts about the temptation that we face to ease our pains in unhealthy ways-please feel free to leave a comment below.